> Be House

You don a pair of rubber gloves and steal a lab assistant's lab coat to wear for yourself. To finish the outfit, you don a large handkerchief as a makeshift surgical mask.

"Dammit, Britney, I don't have time for your PMS-induced rant, a man is dying!"

Oh yeah. Dr. Logan Cox House is in... da House. You would have to find a black best friend later. Then you could be Dr JD Cox House. But for now.. "Scalpel!"

You grab a rather large knife and start sawing away at Professor Rowan's arm, not even thinking to turn the machine off. This causes the screams to worsen, but you had no time for anesthesia. This man's life was in danger! Then you hit a snag halfway through the arm. A bone-like structure was in the way. "Hmmm.. HAMMER!"

You wield Mr Fish, the closest thing you have to a hammer. One well-place Wake-Up Slap almost cracks the bone. About ten more splits the bone in half. By now Professor Rowan is close to bleeding out and is ready to pass out. You cut through the rest of the arm, which remains left in the machine, which is beginning to overheat from being unable to move. Professor Rowan promptly falls to the floor and is out like a light. You use his own coat to make a sloppy tourniquet and you nod proudly. "The man is saved! Ya gotta have faith in your doctor sometimes!"

You do a dance as the other assistants watch in horror.